Retreat

Personally, I'm not sort of cat who runs away from difficult situations. Stay and face problem was how I was brought up. But after Henri's sabotaging class, mood dipped to all-time low. May not have aspirations of becoming puffed-up academic who uses long and obscure words to impress people, but am keen to learn. At lunch time, discussed problem of Henri with members of study group. Everyone upset by missing potentially valuable input from lecturer. Véronique wondered if Henri would be asked to leave course. We nodded. Not fair to have disruptive student in class. Then Maya piped up that she'd heard Henri's wealthy uncle given large donation to university funds when much needed. Suspected university wouldn't dare ask Henri to leave for fear of jeopardising future financial help. As we pondered over Maya's revelation, noticed Cindy shaking. Obviously most distressed by current events.

Someone suggested taking short holiday in countryside. As we looked at each other, Oscar told us he knew of family in Wester Ross who allowed animals to use their garden if they needed a break from city life. He promised he'd find out more, but on one condition, that Henri came too. Miaows and barks of protest. Veronique pointed out we needed break from Henri. Then Oscar went into lecturer mode and addressed us thus: Cats and dogs, I think I understand why Henri is causing problems. He told me once he came from family of high-achieving guinea pigs. There is a lot of pressure on him to do well. It is our job to influence Henri's behaviour by making him realise he would be much more likeable if he changed his conduct.

Won't relay all of what Oscar said, but afterwards general agreement Henri could come too, provided Oscar kept an eye on him. Oscar contacted the family up north and arranged for six of us to arrive two days later. Also negotiated absence with Department of Creative Writing who agreed, as long as we took our copies of Norton's Anthology of Theory and Criticism. Explained this would make luggage very heavy, but department insisted.

When got home and told Saussure and Notsaussure I was going on holiday and why, Saussure suggested Neville went too, to see if he could be influenced by Oscar. Explained thought Oscar wouldn't be happy, at which point Saussure told me I should become more of a leader and less of a 'yes, animal'. Very hurt but on reflection agreed he was right. Later realised if Neville went away no-one would replace floorboards of kitchen. When I explained that to Notsaussure, he told me Saussure had arranged for a professional to re-lay kitchen floor. He, himself, didn't think this was good idea, but his brother was adamant if Neville had any intention of undoing damage to floorboards he would have sorted it out by now.

Hitched lift up to Kinlochewe, where received warm welcome and settled into new garden quickly. Stayed there for two weeks. Owners had old buggy which Oscar transported us about in. Had picnics by lake and played animal rounders.





In evening Oscar facilitated workshops. Two each night. First one was reading and discussing something from Norton - no-one took that very seriously. Too beautiful a place to get to grips with up-your-bum language. Second workshop always more productive. Discussed things such as confidence, self-esteem and how to behave with others. Oscar ran workshops with more sensitivity than I thought a chimp would have. Each session, one of us had to sit in 'hot seat' and talk about personal issues. Rest of group had to ask questions, then come up with solutions which hot seater could consider.

Oscar introduced first workshop with eloquent speech about importance of setting ground rules, or safety guidelines, before undertaking such work on ourselves. Felt jealous of him at that point as would never have thought of such a thing myself. Still, determined to learn from our great Mahatma.

Our ground rules were: a) anyone who yawned or farted had to pull out
b) important to show respect for any group member's contribution
c) okay to miaow, bark or squeak, but must be done quietly
d) essential to respect confidentiality: nothing shared at meetings to be mentioned outwith group


Every night someone had chance to be in 'hot seat' and if any time left over, Henri sat in it. Most impressed - and moved - by his honesty. Admitted enormous pressure on him at home to be most successful guinea pig writer of all times. Constantly hassled by mother, in particular, to let them know of latest assignment marks. Furthermore, when he went home for Sunday lunch, always had to take along notes of that week's lectures. Father and older brother would check them for spelling mistakes and anything not expressed succinctly. At one point, Cindy put up her paw and suggested Henri's family try family therapy. She apparently had done so in hope of becoming less timid. Although it hadn't produced striking results, she'd perceived less timorousness in herself, though in times of great stress still found herself trembling. Cindy got round of applause for sharing something so personal with group.

After three days noticed huge improvement in Henri. Mix of humility, recognition of error of ways, making efforts to be pleasant to everyone and to listen to other people and not talk about himself whole time. Reckon breakthrough came on evening of day two after lovely day scampering around hills near Applecross. While taking hot seat Henri admitted sack of fan mail he carried around didn't have any letters of admiration. Rationale for doing that at time was conviction it would help his self-belief and creativity, but felt bad about deceiving friends. Intended to sleep in sack when he got home.

After ten days, group voted holiday enormous success. Was only when returned to Edinburgh, realised Neville hadn't been in hot seat and there was little chance of him improving behaviour. Perhaps could try 'hot seat' exercise in flat with Saussure and Notsaussure, though can anticipate two problems:
1. Notsaussure doesn't seem to believe in anything very much
2. Can't imagine Neville sitting still for more then five seconds.

Purrs Bakhtin