Still in hiding

Dear friends

Still in hiding and not supposed to be writing to you. After Scottish referendum vote in favour of staying in UK, money offered to Fritzonian Institute withdrawn. As result, advised by police not safe to return to Edinburgh. (see Home Soon: Sept 11, 2014 for more info)  Disappointed as miss life there.  Also fed up having to miaow in different tone and dye fur orange to conceal true identity.  Convinced am allergic to dye. However have to admit lifestyle here is healthy.  Lots of scampering on beaches and hillsides.  Getting very fit.  But miss writing.  Can't seem to get into right mood to continue with Granny Mischa's memoirs. Something to do with loss of identity due to orange fur, me thinks.

Had wonderful surprise last week, however, when visited by friends.  One evening Henri turned up with samples of three experimental recipes for his next book:  The best of guineapigging out. Entering into spirit of things as only he can, he'd dyed his fur and was most disgruntled when I pointed out that bright green made him more conspicuous than even he'd want to be.





When he'd recovered, he produced food from his rucksack at which point he became suspicious when heard scuffling noise at bottom of rucksack.  'Who's in there?  Come out immediately,' Henri shouted.  After a moment or two, Neville appeared, his face covered with crumbs of food.  Henry was furious but I found myself blinking back tears, so happy was I to see my flatmate - even if he'd eaten large chunk of food Henri had brought.


Decided to eat beach despite food not really being suitable for such an occasion.  Henri had brought: spinach and ricotta canneloni, to which he'd added hula hoops; peppers stuffed with maraschino cherries and roast potatoes; rice with prawns and weetabix. When told him the mix of ingredients was, at best, bizarre, he replied that his unique selling point was unusual combination of foods.

Stated that when the world had discovered his creativity in the kitchen, Jamie Oliver wouldn't get a look in.  Was even arrogant enough to tell us that he planned to become an advisor to schools on interesting meals that would encourage pupils to stop buying fish and chips or burgers at lunchtime.

Eager to gain mouse points after eating so much of the food, Neville agreed that Henri would be ideal person to work with government to improve standards of school catering. Always suspected Neville had sycophantic streak in him.

.

After Henri had returned to reality, repacked containers of food and made our way to beach. Every time I muttered something about needing sausages and rolls for a meal by the sea, Neville told me I should learn to think more expansively. Henri so delighted by his support, he offered to let the mouse be his senior advisor on new recipes. To my irritation, Neville looked smug all evening.

Purrs

Bakhtin