High anxiety levels

Very stressed. Today given big assignment for beginning of December. 3000 words of lifewriting to be written in future tense. Also have to prepare for psychogeography trip and do more work on presentation about great grandfather, Mikhail Bakhtin's work on dialogism and heteroglossia. Neville meant to be helping but spends too much time foraging around skips for rusty pipes to have back up if current rusty pipe under kitchen floor stops him sending messages to Granny Elena in Moscow.

Easy to write about me but difficult to write in future tense when things haven't happened. Think lecturer bit touched in head. Perhaps needs medication. Spoke to Saussure who said would teach me about signs, signifiers and signified. Couldn't explain how to link this with writing about things which not yet happened in my life. Notsaussure in kitchen at time of pep talk from Saussure and told his brother there were signs he should study something else as there was only so much to be understood about road signs. Saussure so angry, locked kitchen door, hid key and switched on laptop.

Made us listen to lecture about linguistics, but by time he'd finished first two sentences: A sign is the basic unit of language. Every language is a complete system of signs. Notsaussure had started frying fish for dinner. When Saussure finished third sentence: The connection between the signifier and the signified is arbitrary", Notsaussure flung down plastic slotted turner and told Saussure he was sick of pretending they were related to famous linguist Ferdinand de Saussure and that if they weren't sharing flat with me, Saussure wouldn't feel need to compete with me being great grandson of Mikhail Bakhtin.

Then he told Saussure everything he said was copied word for word from Wikipedia and any animal could do that. Told him if he didn't unlock door at once he'd tell everyone they were frauds.



Saussure gave him key, and told us he was going to spend evening searching bins for half-finished cream cartons.







Notsaussure and I ate fried fish in silence. Shortly after heard clanking noise. Neville returned with tartan shopping bag on wheels - borrowed without permission - full of pieces of rusty pipes. Buoyant from successful raiding of local skips and spent rest of evening trying out pipes to see which would be best replacement for pipe under kitchen floor.










Woke in middle of night after nightmare. Couldn't get back to sleep worrying about workload. Got up at 4 am and added background information to Letters from Bakhtin as lecturer told us important to have context for any writing. Just finished when heard crying from Saussure's room. Went to talk to him. Told me had no identity now if not pretending to be related to Ferdinand de Saussure. I recommended cat counsellor experienced in issues around self-esteem. Might try him myself if anxiety worsens.



Unhappy Saussure



Purrs

Bakhtin

Meanwhile at Fritzonian Institute

Arrived back in Edinburgh on Sunday night, in time to get marks for assignment of Japanese haiku without consonants. Very nervous about looking up results on computer so Neville checked for me and told me I'd been given a grade 3 pass.

Woke at 6 am to sound of Henry banging on flat door. In terrible state. Had spent half the night trying to find out mark for assignment. Computer kept crashing. Eventually got into student portal to find out he'd got very low pass for haiku. For new readers, need to explain that wanting to prove he was experimental writer, Henry had written Japanese haiku without consonants on frying pan. (See letter of September 24 for important details). Explanation from lecturer saying that Institute kitchen been broken into and all pots and frying pans stolen and due to financial cuts, no money available to buy more equipment. One of cleaners when dusting around filing cabinet in lecturer's room, noticed handle of frying pan sticking out and took frying pan to kitchen so that breakfasts could be cooked for students following day. Dish washer had to work hard to remove dried up tamari sauce with haiku but managed to get pan clean.











Next day lecturer noticed open cabinet and worked out why frying pan was stolen. Awarded Henri low mark on strength of other writing but Henry distraught because Japanese haiku without consonants (except 'y') was about ground-breaking method of poaching eggs, and written with 18th century Tamari sauce made in town near Tokyo and stored with vintage bottles of saki.













Véronique got distinction for haiku which looked like blank sheet of paper but turned to words when lecturers began marking. Two disgruntled human students complained, accusing her of plagiarising Tom Riddle's diary in Harry Potter. Lecturer explained Véronique's idea unique because once haiku is marked, words don't disappear again.












Next week have field trip called psychogeography. Confused about what this means. Lecturer say we must go for walk and notice unusual things and this will make us better writers. Had to pull names out of smelly sock to find partner. Wanted to work with Cindy who takes things seriously. Instead have to work with Henry who will probably spend whole day talking about low mark for Japanese haiku without consonants.

Won't mention trip to Neville who will insist on showing us area from mouse perspective. However, Neville still in frequent contact with Granny Elena about Mikhail Bakhtin's work. Has worked out cheap way to communicate. Taps out sounds with tail on tiny bit of rusty pipe he found under kitchen floor and she hears him in Moscow. Much cheaper than mobile phone, Neville says. Only thing is, Granny Elena sometimes trembles and knocks pipe by mistake, sending out wrong message. Neville thriving on challenge of unscrambling code and is happier than ever.










Is also delighted because at Solyankacats club, member photographed him breakdancing, and sent photo to one of Moscow broadsheets. Neville delighted about increasing reputation as famous Scottish mouse breakdancer. Now considering writing memoirs as inspiration to other mice. Reminded him of housekeeping duties and promise to help me with literary theory. Told me could manage everything but was busy swinging tail against rusty pipe to communicate with Granny Elena and wasn't concentrating on what I said.













Purrs,

Bakhtin

Evening with Russian friends

Problem is Granny Elena gets carried away. Day after talking to her about famous Mikhail Bakhtin's ideas on dialogism and heteroglossia, woken at 6 am by Neville telling me Granny on phone. Had found missing pages of father's "Toward a Philosophy of the Act" and said I must come round immediately. Preferred to sleep because article about ethics and aesthetics, nothing to do with creative writing. Neville jumped onto dressing table, waved front legs, squeaking if want to be good writer must think more expansively. Told him if he was so keen, could take my place on Masters. Got out of basket again and cleaned fur.

Neville so excited, gobbled down peanut butter sandwich on sour rye dough bread and hopped from foot to foot while I drank milk. Only when we left hotel forgot hadn't groomed himself with silver-backed hairbrush for special occasions. Took ten minutes to decide whether more important to arrive at Granny Elena's looking smart or get there earlier. Finally hair brushing won.



In Granny's study, looked at "Toward a Philosophy of the Act," with Neville translating difficult parts. I spent most of time thinking about fish market. Several times he bit my toe and squeaked I must try harder. Soon would be back in Edinburgh with no chance to talk to Granny Elena in same way.

In evening texted friends and agreed to go to Solyankacats, Moscow's newest nightclub for experimental cats, Neville keen to come but warned him of danger in places where cats dance. When got there, checked backpack for Neville but no sign of him, so could relax. Later mobile phone rang. Suspected it was Henry wanting to know what we'd eaten that day and didn't answer. Phone kept ringing so eventually answered. It was Neville saying desperate to watch me dance and promising he'd only peep out of my rucksack. Told me could be there in fifteen minutes if he used fast lane gutters. Agreed, because he'd been helpful translator today.



When Neville arrived, scuttled into rucksack side pocket to be invisible. Five minutes later when dancing barynya, traditional Russian folk dance, friend pointed to table. Neville had left sidepocket of rucksack and was primed to leap onto dance floor. Was worried because for stomping and squatting involved in barynya, cats wear thick rubber boots. Might not kill Neville deliberately but could easily squash him. Needn't have worried as discovered Neville brilliant dancer - as well as translator. Light on all feet and very nimble. Explained afterwards had attended mouse gym for years, focusing on mouse-designed step machine with four steps. He did headstands and spun round and round without becoming dizzy. So good, in fact, that dancers cleared space for him and gave special cat hiss, highest form of admiration. When police appeared checking for recreational drugs, Neville distracted them with breakdance for half an hour. Police so impressed forgot about reason for visit, had glass of vodka and left.



Neville now most popular mouse in Moscow, and been invited to play in top ice hockey team, given life membership of best gym, and invited to all upmarket cheese parties in city. Reputation even reached St Petersburg and been offered extensive tour of Winter Palace, first mouse to achieve such honour.




However, says it's time to return to Edinburgh, reminding me of presentation in two weeks' time, and getting marks back on Japanese haiku without consonants. Text from Notsaussure saying Henry been round to flat twice to tell them certain will get top marks for originality in writing haiku on frying pan. Notsaussure irritated by such conceit, and pointed out he'd heard from Maya many marks will be deducted because pan filthy and smelling of guinea pig poo. Saussure apparently sulking since I left because Mikhail Bakhtin most critical of structural view of language. Been warned not to talk much about trip when back in flat.



Purrs

Bakhtin

Educated by Granny Elena

Spent day with Granny Elena looking through notes from Great Grandfather Mikhail Bakhtin. Lots of information on dialogism, chronotope, heteroglossia and "outsidedness". At breakfast Neville told me he should come along too because suspected Granny would talk in scholarly way and he could help me understand. Was late leaving because he spent ages grooming himself with silver-backed brushes he carries around for special occasions. Wanted Granny Elena to be impressed when she met him and to realise mice could have dignified presence.



Worked out well having Neville there. Granny Elena explained something then Neville turned it into everyday language. Neville so pleased with himself at end, proposed we do joint presentation on Mikhail Bakhtin's work at Fritzonian Institute. Also said he planned to contact institute to propose position for translator-in-residence. As already there was reader-in-residence and writer-in-residence, logical to have translator-in-residence. Well-known that often puffed-up academics not good at using language students understand. There would be two parts to job. One would be to attend classes on literary theory, standing beside lecturer, ready to translate on spot any jargon. Other part would be to meet with students one-to-one to summarise what was taught in class in language student could understand.

Also thought might run 24 hour crisis service for students struggling to understand lectures. Reassured me he could survive on very little sleep and would still have time to keep flat clean and tidy. Told me self-esteem much higher since moved in with me and now confident could utilise untapped skills.




So tired fell asleep immediately afterwards while Neville talked to Granny Elena. When woke, he showed me powerpoint presentation he'd prepared to justify being appointed as translator-in-residence and told me Granny Elena so impressed with language skills would provide reference.



Aunt Mischa came for afternoon tea, bringing home baked Russian apple cake. Agreed with Neville if received text from Henry, wouldn't answer.


Purrs

Bakhtin

Post from Moscow

All happened quickly. One minute in Edinburgh, next in Moscow. Saussure delighted about visit to Moscow to find more about famous Mikhail Bakhtin and arranged leaving party. Notsaussure more pessimistic, saying might find Granny Elena had only kept old bank statements and wouldn’t have record of her father’s work. Henry wanted to come too because convinced Granny Elena would have interesting recipes. Had row with Neville who said I was rejecting his offer of help with studying. He disappeared before leaving party. I thought he’d decided to live with MJ Nichols.

When arrived at Domodedovo airport, found Neville asleep at bottom of hand luggage. He was very pleased with himself for surviving journey without being discovered. So relieved he hadn’t moved out of flat took him on sighteeing tour of Moscow. He sat on knee on top of bus and squeaked for whole of trip.







Invited to dinner with Granny Elena. Meal interrupted eight times by texts from Henry wanting to know what we were eating. He insisted on speaking to Granny Elena about everything she’d cooked and asked her to text him all recipes. Explained she not of generation to use mobile phones.

Purrs

Bakhtin

Traitor

Someone in class has told lecturers I am great grandson of famous Mikhail Bakhtin and now there is pressure on me to display knowledge of dialogism, heteroglossia, and chronotope.

Lecturers asked me to give power point presentation on great grandfather's work. Neville says he will help me prepare. Notsaussure not convinced mouse has ability to advise and says Neville would be better to stick to dusting and vacuuming. Neville furious, and to demonstrate scholarly ability, has put together list of technical words on literary theory for Notsaussure to test him. Words included: philology, diegesis, episteme, mimesis.

Granny Elena Bakhtin

Before giving presentation will have to return to Russia to speak to grandmother, daughter of famous Mikhail Bakhtin. She is now elderly cat who keeps great grandfather's works in locked drawers.

New tartan shopping
bag after wheel fell off other one

Suspect traitor was Cindy, who has always been jealous of tartan shopping bag with wheels because she carries books in old cat litter tray converted to cart and bus drivers don't let her take it on bus because of smell.

What she ended up using

What she wanted to build

What Cindy started building

Tonight I will start research. But also have to write two short stories for mentoring. Only idea I have is to write a life in the day of tartan shopping bag with wheels. Saussure says it's impossible to empathise with shopping bag, especially tartan one, and advises me to stick to what I know. Henry tells me to pinch someone else's short story because no-one will find out.


Purrs


Bakhtin