More about day of presentation

When returned from extended break, horrified to see Henri had moved laptop and put his own on desk, with title slide ready:

Explained Saussure and I had only shown two slides and had remaining 898 ones of presentation which would take rest of morning even rushing through them. Henri very upset. Told us he'd spent hours preparing talk on famous French literary theorist. Then he straightened up and informed us he was third cousin four times removed, from Roland Barthes, and believed he was intelligent and communicative enough to paraphrase the great man's work.

Aware of growing tension and keen to demonstrate experimental approach of famous Fritzonian Institue, teacher asked class to vote on which presentation they wanted to see next. In order to make it easier for students to be honest, passed round her shoe for votes to be dropped in.

Many students undecided, so ten minutes of mounting suspense. Saussure kept hissing to me he was confident we would win. He was already adding two more slides, crucial to understanding depth and potential impact of Bakhtin's theories.

As latest student to join class, Oscar asked to count votes. Protested he couldn't as he'd had me to dinner and therefore had problem of partiality. Impressed by high moral stance.






Teacher agreed to check votes. Henri stood upright, puffed with pride and confidence. Told me was most important moment of his life. Meanwhile, Saussure busy adding another slide though kept telling him had too many already. When finished counting votes, teacher counted them again, then called in another teacher to do a third check. By this time, Henri lying in corner of room hyperventilating. Then teacher announced results.

Votes for Saussure and me to continue crucially important presentation on Mikhail Bakhtin: 8
Votes for Henri to start far less crucial presentation on Roland Barthes: 10
Abstentions: 4

Saussure went very pale and I felt sick, though reassured myself close call and students voting for Henri probably just curious as most people regarded him as plonker.



Immediately Henri, whose breathing had returned to normal, went to laptop and switched on first slide:


'C'est une projection concernant...' Henri began.
'Speak in English,' students called out.
'But zis is an institution expérimental,' he argued.
'Henry, you must talk in English,' the teacher said.
'I can only describe this slide in French,' Henri said.
'Okay, then next slide, please.'

Henri looked ill with disappointment but moved onto next slide. Opened mouth to describe it, then looked at slide and stopped.


'Henry, can you explain connection between this delicious looking pot of boeuf bourguinonne and Roland Barthes?' teacher asked.
'It shouldn't be there,' Henri said.
'Move on then, please.'



Again Henri was about to speak when class started laughing. He looked at slide of poached eggs and fur turned paler.
'This is mistake, too,' he said.


'Perhaps we should return to the presentation on Mikhail Bakhtin,' teacher suggested.
'No, next slide will be fine,' Henri said.

'Well, this is challenge for you,' teacher said. 'Please explain link with Barthes and these two guinea pigs. Perhaps this is from Barthes's book "Camera Lucida"?'
'There isn't link. These are my cousins, Flossy and Bossy... Has someone tampered with my slides?'
He glared at class.
'One more slide, Henry,' teacher said.



By now screams of laughter from everyone, including teacher as we looked at slide of toilet seat.
'Perhaps Barthes full of crap,' Véronique called out.

Then bell went for lunch.

Purrs

Bakhtin

Big day

Day of presentation on famous Mikhail Bakhtin finally arrived. Very anxious, so Saussure made me green tea and gave me massage with bergamot, coriander and cinnamon essential oils , all good for stress. Notsaussure said I smelled like Iranian stew and would make other students hungry.


Left in plenty of time, with two tartan shopping bags on wheels, (second one borrowed from Saussure and Notsaussure's cousin), containing handouts of 900 powerpoint slides, three on each page, so students had room to make scholarly notes. Bus had to lower ramp for wheelchair, because shopping bags too heavy to lift on.


Spent journey trying to persuade Saussure to decrease number of slides, saying classmates would fall asleep after first 600. Saussure said point of having so many was to whizz through them and make presentation exciting. Glad Notsaussure not around to hear remark. Would have dislocated jaw laughing.










Began with introduction about Mikhail Bakhtin being my great grandfather and good to me as baby cat. Showed picture of him with protective arm round me first time went for snowy walk in Moscow.


Didn't tell Saussure about this, and could feel him pulling my tail but suddenly felt long way from home and family. Specially as Granny Elena so busy communicating with Neville through rusty pipes under kitchen floor, never writes to me now. As began to talk about Bakhtin also being good cook, special dish being buckwheat kasha, Saussure shoved me out of way and clicked on first slide.

* Bakhtin was theorist who began writing in Soviet Union in 1920s.
* Not a Marxist, but aware of Marxist doctrines.
* Associated with Russian Formalism, which preceded movement known as New Criticism.

Watched with pride as students made notes. Oscar sitting at front of class had brought in stenograph which he later told me types up to 225 words a minute and he'd found at car boot sale. Very impressed with his diligence. Example to everyone.










Saussure moved to next slide:
* Bakhtin's theories focus mainly on concept of DIALOGUE, and on idea that language is always a dialogue.
* Dialogue consists of three elements: a speaker, a listener/respondent, and a relation between the two.



As he explained what he meant, door opened and Henri appeared.
'I am sorry to be late for zee class but my alarm clock did not rrring.'

Teacher told him to take a seat and settle down quickly.

'What is ziss strrrrange smell?' Henri asked. ' 'as someone brought zee currrry for 'ees lunch?'

'Be quiet, Henry,' Oscar called out. 'Some of us want to learn.'
'Listen to zee teacher's pet. Wot a crrreep.'

At that point, bell rang for break. Smell of coriander and cinnamon had made me hungry and so rushed off to canteen. Left Oscar asking Saussure to explain dialogism.

Purrs

Bakhtin

Dinner with Oscar

Oscar asked me to bring Norton’s Anthology of Theory and Criticism when I came for dinner, which meant taking tartan shopping bag on wheels. Checked it six times before leaving to make sure Neville wasn’t hiding. Also worried Henri would text to insist he came along to experience fruitarian meal. Had dropped hints in class about researching recipes with tropical fruit and hung around Oscar and me at break times. Still fond of Henri but believe good idea to make new friends, especially ones who take studying seriously.













Oscar had shopped in Hajis Fruit Market, near hostel, where you can buy fruit and vegetables for reasonable prices. Decorated room with posters of home country, Burkina Faso, western Africa.











Menu
fresh mango, pineapple and pawpaw
(better for digestion to start meal with fresh fruit)

sweet potato stew with fried millet and sorghum bread and tuna ( if wanted)

washed down with dolo (beer made from sorghum)

When he produced this, for moment wished Henri was there as would have been fascinated. Moment didn't last long.












Oscar had researched healthy diet for cats and knew meat important to prevent blindness, because of amino acid, taurine. Apologised for not being able to afford meat but hoped I'd enjoy cat tuna.




Relief to spend evening with someone not longing to be related to someone famous and taking no more than passing interest in my connection with Mikhail Bakhtin.

When he filled my glass with more dolo, told me his story. Was born in Burkina Faso and had happy childhood though hunting for food hard work for parents. Then situation for chimpanzees deteriorated. Deforestation, poaching and capturing for pet trade and research were main problems. 75% chimpanzees in West Africa disappeared over last five years.

Oscar snatched from parents and sisters four years ago and taken to London to work in circus. Group of feisty animals formed union and demanded pay which owners agreed to. Occasionally rented out for movie work, which paid better. When Oscar had saved enough money, managed to escape when owners had bout of food poisoning (which he suspected caused by disgruntled tiger). Decided prefer to work as storyteller and should study writing to help devise own stories. Living on savings from circus but has to be careful. Only extravagance is paying for training from voice coach. Might try to find work at zoo, helping chimpanzees cope with visitors pointing fingers and making stupid comments. Said he still missed family and hopes to return to West Africa one day if situation for chimpanzees improves.

Suddenly Oscar stopped telling story and proposed we get to work with Norton. Apprehensively I opened book and hiccuped. After tenth hiccup, Oscar said perhaps we'd both had too much dolo and should postpone studying to another day. Suggested he join me with Saussure for help with interpretation of puffed-up academic writing. Didn't mention Neville.

When left, Oscar told me was greatly looking forward to my presentation on work of famous Mikhail Bakhtin and expected to learn a lot.



Purrs

Bakhtin

Good influence

Oscar already having good influence on class. Listens well and takes many notes. Also asks intelligent questions about literary theory. Suspect often doesn't understand answers but at least tries hard. Has invited me for fruitarian meal.


Wants to tell me his life story. Is homesick for family. Also sometimes for circus friends. Is staying at hostel but hoping to find flat.


Am busy preparing presentation on famous Mikhail Bakhtin. Saussure got carried away helping and now have 900 slides. Only meant to speak for 30 minutes, which means 2 seconds per slide. Think this isn't possible but Saussure so enthusiastic, hard to say no. His self-esteem is much higher and thinks no need to see counsellor at moment. Planning to come into class as guest presenter and has arranged for personal groomer to visit flat day before to check fur in good condition. Neville miffed that Saussure usurped him as main study aid at home but is his own fault. Spending too much time under kitchen floor sorting out rusty pipes. Notsosaussure pointed out conditions of living rent-free in flat were to help me with studies and to do housework and at moment is doing neither. Neville ruffled but quickly regained composure and explained that when he'd refined communication via rusty pipes,(see letter of October 26), could save millions on phone bills. Notsaussure not at all convinced and pointed out Neville needed bath because fur filthy from spending so much time under floor boards.





Purrs

Bakhtin

Oscar's arrival

Psychogeography trip went well. Henri (who insists I use French spelling of name) interviewed four restaurant managers. After first one wandered off down alleys to notice unusual things. Difficult at first to ignore dustbin contents but made myself look up at buildings to notice interesting signs - texted Saussure at one point to suggest he came along but got snippy message back saying he was disappointed still don't understand his research is nothing to do with signs over buildings or on roads. Observed sparrows, mice and squirrels for indications of happiness or original behaviour. Noticed unusual designs of dustbins and letterboxes.












Felt at end of day have potential to be better writer if did more psychogeography, and quote from notes made in class:

"Psychogeography concerned with personality of places. Important to accept not about tourism. Is adventure, experiment, journey, investigation."

Love next sentence, and pleased with ability to define subject so clearly. Perhaps am clever enough to become puffed-up academic, after all.

"Psychogeography is meticulously detailed, poly-level examinations of places that affect upon writer’s own minuscule inner eye: the sociology, ecology etc."

Can be used for writing: crime and detective fiction, urban fantasy and sci fi, graphic and historical fiction. Can also be used for life-writing, so might throw in odd profound observation when writing letters.

Big news of day is new student in Masters in Creative Writing. His name is Oscar and he is chimpanzee. Until last month had worked for zoo and acted in 3rd rate movies, but wanted career change and decided had charisma to find work as traditional story-teller.












When students heard Oscar had acting experience, crowded round to ask him if he knew Cheetah who wrote his autobiography, I, Cheetah, on reading list for life-writing module. Oscar stood up straight, and said, he'd heard of him but thought his book was appalling, and had wrecked attempts to promote members of ape family as animals with integrity.













Not normal for student to start course mid-way through first term but Fritzonian Institute prides itself on its experimental approach and has allowed Oscar to join class.


Purrs

Bakhtin

Psychogeography day

Got out of basket before alarm clock went off, and rushed through grooming and breakfast so as not to be late for Henry. Saussure and Notsaussure having low key discussion at kitchen table about how little housework Neville was doing. No sign of Neville. Saussure told me Neville gone out early, no-one knew where.






Arranged to meet Henry outside Central Library. When arrived, saw Neville scuttling out of National Library on other side of road, looking pleased with himself. Noticed me and crossed road to tell me he'd been having discussions with Board of library who offered him honorary membership as reward for helpful suggestions about improving library facilities for mice. Those included: lower chairs, laptop borrowing facilities because mice not strong enough to carry them around, and bigger choice of lunch items to suit mice tastes.

Became aware of Neville stiffening when animal arrived and stood next to me. Turned round to see who it was. It was guinea pig. After few minutes of silence, Neville told me it was Henry, so peered at guinea pig. Couldn't recognise him. It was Henry, Neville insisted. Stared again. Guinea pig had reddy brown hair like Henry's used to be before stress of Masters in Creative Writing course turned it partly white. Animal also wore navy blue beret and had brown leather shoulder bag.





Conversation went like this:
'Are you Henry?' I asked.
'Henri,' animal replied, pronouncing name like 'Onree'.
'Onree, from course in creative writing?'
'Mais, bien sûr, mon ami,' animal said.
'Why are you speaking French?' I asked.
'Because I have discovered I have French blood,' he said, pronouncing French like 'Ferench'.
'Where's your bag of onions?' Neville asked.
Henry turned his back on Neville, who told me he was going to Central Library to see if they'd make him honorary member in exchange for advice on making facilities more mice-friendly.

I stared at Henry again, and suggested we walk to Victoria Street to begin psychogeography trip. For readers who don't know, psychogeography is about discovering hidden landscape of atmospheres, histories, actions and characters which charge environments. We were to look for things we wouldn't normally notice. When asked Henri why he'd chosen today to become French, told me planned to interview manager of Petit Paris restaurant in Grassmarket and believed had better chance if manager could identify with him. If that interview went well, he then hoped to talk to manager of French Connection Creperie, also in Grassmarket. When I pointed out manager would be human being and Henri was guinea pig, he gave me withering look.









Too tired to write any more about psychogeography trip apart from adding that Henri spent large part of day talking about new henna hair dye which restored fur to original colour. Promise to finish writing about trip soon.

Purrs

Bakhtin

Pretensions

Tomorrow is day of psychogeography trip. Route begins at top of Victoria Street, goes down into Grassmarket and ends at Cineworld at Fountain Park. Suspect won't get further than Grassmarket as Henry will want to interview all restaurant owners, but couldn't quizz him when he phoned as he sounded very strange. Voice was different and there were long pauses. When he came for Russian borscht soup and stroganov on Saturday night was on good form to begin with, asking what type of beetroot was in soup and what method used to sour the cream, but became quieter as evening went on. Suspect it was because of Neville.










Neville been jubilant over social success in Russia (see Letter of October 15) and since discovering is distant relation of Nicholas 11 of Imperial Russia. He felt it was important to research family tree before writing memoirs and spent several days at National Library poring over documents before scuttling back to flat, giving surfaces quick flick with duster and sending messages through rusty pipe to Granny Elena in Moscow. She was first person he told of famous ancestry.











On Saturday evening announced was changing name to Ambrosii, which means 'immortal'. Says it has good ‘ring’ for new position in 24 hour crisis service which he is setting up for students struggling to understand lectures. Henry said everyone would confuse it with Ambrosia and think Neville was pudding for baby. Neville leapt onto table, splashing red beetroot soup everywhere and demanding he be treated with respect deserving of someone with royal connections.

















After noting ingredients for bortsch soup and stroganov, Henry left early, mentioning had work to do, but not saying what. On way out, ran paw over ledge by front door and pointed out Neville was neglecting duties. Think Henry is right. Neville spending too much time on building reputation as breakdancer, translator of academic gobbledegook and chatting to Granny Elena. Not paying enough attention to housework or helping me with literary theory. Considering asking Saussure for support in studying. Would help improve his self-esteem and show Neville that mice can get too puffed-up.

Purrs

Bakhtin