Returned to Fritzonian Institute. Anxious about having missed so much time, and about outstanding assignment, even with month's extension for compassionate reasons, due in next week. As previously mentioned, task is to abridge 5000 word story to 20 words and, despite advice from Oscar, haven't started. No-one managed to achieve 20 words. Best result is Oscar who cut it down to 330. Cindy admitted only managed to reduce word count to 4980 words and anticipating bollocking from lecturer. Decided to adopt creative approach and point paw randomly at 5 words and devise story round these, though with only additional 15 at disposal, little scope for writing beginning let alone middle and end.
Topic for lecture this morning was Foucault. At least that was heading on first power point slide. By third slide, lecturer had moved on to Derrida. If didn't know he was dead, would suspect something untoward going on. Began talking about deconstruction at which point Oscar reminded her she'd already covered deconstruction. She replied that not all students were so quick to understand concepts of scholar like Derrida. Oscar to his credit didn't look smug but suspected he felt proud at implication he was intelligent. Noticed Véronique clutching gilet with one paw while with other she wrote note to me asking: 'Will students be taken apart also?' Made me anxious. Lecturer has habit of making a point.
At end of presentation, lecturer suddenly swept across to centre of platform, flung out arms and told us she had important announcement to make. Even Cindy looked up from tear-soaked notepad. Informed there would be party for newly appointed writer-in-residence, Chi-Chi, and we were all invited. Event to be held in the New College Library - very posh venue. Advised to pay special attention to grooming. Chi-Chi would give speech, then Principle of Institute, then finally lecturer would say a few words. ( doubtlessly bringing in Derrida at any available opportunity, Oscar whispered to me, obviously determined to show he was still one of us despite compliment from lecturer about understanding deranged French philosophers)
Then shock announcement: Henri been invited to organise catering for party. Even guinea pig seemed surprised. Impressive five minute silence. Then as post script, lecturer informed us we'd be given editing assignment on day of party, to be handed in following morning as exercise in coping with stress we'd face as writers meeting deadlines. Stunned reaction. Students already have ample experience of stress. Unabashed, lecturer picked up red vintage handbag -which clashed with pink shoes - and breezed out of classroom.
Henri recovered quickly - presumably so dumbstruck by invitation to provide catering for such a prestigious occasion that he hadn't heard anything about extra assignment - straightened posture and sidled out of room in dignified manner.
At lunch time, no sign of him. Then Maya raised paw and pointed to upper level of canteen reserved for staff. There was Henri, at table on his own, making notes. In front of him was sign saying 'Do not disturb'. Seems guinea pig has delusions of grandeur, now considering himself on equal footing with professors and lecturers. New found humility didn't last long.
Lunch break ended with hysterical laughter. When Henri went to get another cup of real coffee ( from staff percolator), Veronique replaced the sign with another one she'd nicked.
Purrs Bakhtin
